Standing on stage, hands sweating, voice shaking: this is fear. But it’s also brave.
I’ve taken the stage many times in my life, but it wasn’t until I figured out my ‘why’ that it began to get easier.
Every day you (the collective you: you, me, them, etc. Not singling you out. Though this is personal to you. You, you. Not the collective you this time.) Where was I? Ah, yes. You.
Every day you take the stage of life. You stand in front of people and you perform.
My question is, does your performance reflect who you are or who you think they want you to be?
From the time we’re born, we experience conditioning that shapes who we become. Many of us, unfortunately, develop negative self-views imposed by children in grown-up bodies who told us who they thought we were while looking through the lens of their own insecurities.
Then, as adults, we refer to those narratives for our sense of self, but the problem is that, far too often, they weren’t right to begin with. So we spend our lives feeling afraid because of the distance we envision between the person we are and the person we think we should be.
We’re taught not to question authority. We’re taught others are right. Consequently, we come to believe others know better. Well this is your permission slip. Question, because you are the best authority on what it means to be you.
So let’s summarize: We self-judge because we were judged and then feel bad about ourselves. That’s dysfunctional.
Let me pose an alternative thought process.
What if you didn’t have to believe the narrative that was taught to you as a child? What if you could decide right now that you’re not clumsy, that you are good at math, that people like having you around? What if you could decide you are worthy of love, that your thoughts and perspectives on the world are valid, that you have more to offer than a pretty face and a tight backside?
What if, when you got on that stage tomorrow, you could show up as you, the real you? The you that’s been stuck behind walls you built to try and protect it, but that are now just keeping you shut up inside?
That was the change.
I stopped being afraid when I realized standing on that stage isn’t about how I look or what I think they want.
It’s about sharing who I am and knowing, deeply knowing, that’s enough. That’s where connection lives.
And this may sound odd, but it’s simultaneously not about me at all. I am a vessel. So no matter how I’m received, it doesn’t matter, because I did what I needed to do.
I showed up and shared.
That’s my why. I show up for me and I show up for you.
Do I get nervous? Yes. But I remind myself, ‘This isn’t about you. You’re enough.’
So that’s my message for you. I hope after reading this, you get on that stage and show up as you: beautifully imperfect you. The you that sometimes forgets to replace the toilet paper, the you that likes puns, the you that puts off going to bed because you don’t want to have to get up and brush your teeth because you’re exhausted, the you that wants to believe it when someone says, ‘I love you.’
Be brave.
Get on that stage and, loosely quoting Oscar Wilde, ‘Be you. Everyone else is taken.’